 |
Thursday, February 16, 2006 The Story So it’s been requested that I give the “full story” about me moving back to Edinburgh. I’m happy to oblige, though it’s tough to give the “full story” in just a blog post. If you want, I’d be more than happy to take you out for a beer and chat about it. Til then, this will have to do. I came back to Edinburgh because I felt it was the right thing to do. For a while back in St Louis, I completely hated my life. I really did. I hated everything about it. Not that I hated America – it just didn’t feel like home anymore. I felt really…awkward, like I was somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be. But I wanted to tough it out, largely because I didn’t want to feel like I’d failed or something. Plus, I didn’t want to go back just because it was more “comfortable” here. While God cares deeply for us, I think he’s not generally all that concerned with our comfort levels. Many times – if not most – we are asked to be somewhere that we aren’t all that comfortable with. Plus, in the beginning, I didn’t really have the option of going back, at least financially speaking. Time passed, and I saved up some cash. And I was surprised to find I wasn’t quite as miserable anymore. I no longer really hated everything about my life back in St Louis. I found a church I really loved – a church that was passionate about loving people well, and worshipping God in spirit and in truth. Many things still didn’t really “gel”, but my days weren’t miserable. I think it was when I realized I was no longer miserable, but still felt I should come back, that I took the idea a little more seriously. I didn’t feel like I was just REACTING to life in St Louis, but that I was actively moving more towards where God actually wanted me to be. That also meant that for a while I was legitimately torn between the two places. Covenant sent me my acceptance letter – I could start my Master of the Arts in Theological Studies at the end of January. At the same time, one of my former profs at ICC told me about the new Masters of Theology – Urban Ministry course starting in April back at Ye Olde Alma Mater. More jobs were opening up in Edinburgh – ones that did not require me to wear an apron, operate a drive-thru headset, or make coffee. Ones that were actually in the same sector as my degree. I prayed a lot about it. And hard. I was actually EXAUSTED praying about it, and was ready for some answers. I think I was hoping for a billboard or a phone call from God about it. I actually thought how lovely it would be if God could send me the answer in a DREAM. God does that, doesn’t he? Or at least, he used to. Oddly enough, that same night I did have a dream. I dreamt I’d moved back…and that I was really happy with my decision. I think oftentimes, such dreams really just give you a better picture about how you feel, and how you would feel, given a certain situation. It was hard to argue with that dream. I tried, but it was getting more difficult. In the end, I was waiting to see what would happen with my car. At the beginning of January, I finally worked up the guts to tell grandma what happened to the car. Her insurance covered it, totaled it, and paid her more money than I would have ended up paying her for it after all my payments. So it worked out well for everyone. So I bought a one-way ticket to Edinburgh. What am I doing now? Well, I was going to stay with Ruth for a few weeks til I got a place, but it wasn’t ideal – there was no space for me. But I couldn’t look for a flat til I got a job, either. But a couple weeks before I came over, I got an email from Ashley and Bryce, offering me a room in their flat in Stockbridge. Aside from the greatness of living with them, and in Stockbridge, I get Jonathan, Sarah, and Baby Hayes just downstairs, too. My second day here (a week ago Tuesday), I walked into a Starbucks and got hired on the spot, and I started work on Monday. Now of course, I really don’t want to stay at Starbucks. But I certainly need money coming in til I get a “real job”. There are 3 or 4 good possibilities in Edinburgh alone for youthwork/public sector jobs that I think I’d really enjoy. I’m applying for the Masters program at ICC, but that’s also contingent on my getting a “ministry” job – the program is designed for folks in full-time ministry of some capacity. So I’ll need that job before April. If it doesn’t work out, that’s okay too, but that’s what I’m hoping for. If you’re the praying type, you can pray for that. So I think that sums everything up. Any questions? |
|
"In the city you will find that the poor and the broken are often much, much more open to the idea of Gospel grace and much more dedicated to its practical outworkings than you are." (Tim Keller) | |
