Monday, June 23, 2003
Well, the good news is...I don't think I have appendicitus.
Since yesterday morning my left lower ribcage area muscles have felt kinda funny. Not painful, but more like....numb. But increasingly uncomfortable. Or just...nagging. So I looked it up, and apparently the right side would hurt if it was my appendix. Me thinks its just my diet/irritable bowel syndrome. I bet you REALLY wanted to know that, didn't you? ;) But the IBS only really acts up when I'm stressed out, and all the preperations to leave do that to me. Well, that and flying.
I once read the blog of a girl who had died. I learned she'd died from another blog that linked to her. And it had just.....stopped. I was maybe thinking someone would announce it on her blog or something....but who would? I doubt anyone knew her password or anything. And it was weird....the world just continued...and her blog stopped.
I've been on this "contemplating my own mortality" trip these days...call it my Early-20's Crisis. Not to like, a horrible extent or anything, just more than usual. And....the reality of being. Not that I particularly find it "unbearably light". ("Its about girls, right?") Watching "Identity" at the movies yesterday didn't help. It was a great movie though. Basically just...realizing the fragility of life...yet the amazing wonder of how we're created....and how much I STILL HATE TO FLY.
Only 18 hours and 40 minutes til my train leaves for London....I really do NOT want to work tommorrow. I wouldn't recommend that to anyone. And its the first of my Tea in the Park outreaches (yes...I'll miss the next five..) ...so there's all this pressure....ARGH. But...it'll be fine. If I've made it this far....I should be okay.
Oh, and I'll be coming back next year....for Year Two. I was a little worried there for a while, but I think that's pretty secure now. Yay!
Two of my good friends (one of whom is my flatmate Chris) have started dating. I hate when that happens. Even though I really like both of them. Then again, maybe I'm just bitter.
I'm not at all packed. I have way to much to do tommorrow....or, today, after I get a few hours of sleep. But my room is much tidier, making it easier to pack. I spent most of the day sewing a pair of jeans and watching Bad Boys, putting off packing. Not bad for a Sunday afternoon. Plus I got a snazzy pair of new flares out of an old pair of not-so-flared jeans. Boo ya. But of course that means more to do tommorrow. Not that I expected anything less of course. I always do that. I packed for Asia (knowing I'd be gone for 2 years) the night before I left. This one should be considerably easier anyway.
By the way, I'm flat broke. I don't think I'll be able to pay for that tattoo I wanted this summer that I was gonna get with Chrissy. Crap. And I'll be sucking off the family for money my entire time at home, which I so had NOT planned on. I may try and get some paperwork done for Mom and Dave to earn some of that money. I HATE being so broke yo. It didn't help that Chris didn't get paid, so wasn't able to pay me the £30 or so he owes me for the phone. So I have about....£20. £5 of which goes to getting a plug converter I'll need, and nother £2 for PG Tips tea for April. And I have $8 left from when I came over that I can use in Atlanta.
Ah well. God provides.
This lack of funding is partially due to the need (and I DO MEAN NEED!) for new books for the trip. I usually get a new CD too, but since I don't have a CD player at the moment, I got an extra book instead.
I ordered "Dangerous Wonder" by Mike Yaconnelli on recommendation of Katie and my love of his Messy Spirituality book. I only read the intro, but I'm excited. I also finally bought "Girlfriend in a Coma" by Douglas Coupland, who is probably my favorite fiction author. I've been saving that one. Oh yes.
Should be good. :)
Next you hear from me (er, hopefully...) I'll be in the States!!!!
Monday, June 16, 2003
Georgia On My Mind.....
A song of you comes as sweet and clear as moon light through the pines. Other arms reach out to me. Other eyes smile tenderly. Still in peaceful dreams I see the road leads back to you. Georgia sweet Georgia
Well, things are finally startin to come together. I have a plane ticket! Its gonna be complicated…..
Next Monday night I’ll be working til like 10. Then my boss will drive me to get the midnight train to London. I get into London at 7am, get the tube from Euton to Victoria station, then ANOTHER train (£11!!!!) to Gatwick (I adore Gatwick airport. I’ve been to many airports, and its probably my favorite….small, but lots of cool stuff in it). My flight there leaves at 10am to Atlanta. The cool part is that my agent said she could arrange a free stopover there…..so I’ll be staying in Atlanta for a few days, visiting friends, before I go back to St Louis, then KC eventually. (I GOT to get my car back!)
So….it should be interesting.
Nothing could be as bad as flying from Cebu, Phillippines, to home, however. THAT was miserable.
First of all, my flight out of Cebu got screwed up and I had to stay in a hotel for 3 days, because the ship was leaving. (That was weird, a bizarre taste of freedom….and a really nice hotel…..but I just REALLY wanted to go home. I won’t argue with a marble bathroom, however. I was listening to my friends Dawson’s Creek soundtrack 2….(don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.....that's where I discovered the song "Never Saw Blue Like That"...a song I love....) So I sat there eating junk food and drinking the free tea and coffee and enjoying massive buffet breakfast while watching the NBA games at 9am (basketball is huge in the Phillippines). It was interesting. Weird. And not really that fun because I was stressed about getting HOME.
When I DID…..the flights weren’t the best.
Cebu to Kota Kinabalu.
KK to Taipei (Taiwan).
Taipei to LA. (I hate LA.)
So I had an EIGHT HOUR layover in LA. During which I got yelled at repeatedly by a woman security officer (I hate them….) for attempting to sleep on the COLD HARD TILE floor because they kicked me out of the other part (the COMFY SEAT PART) of the airport, but apparently I was sleeping in front of some random office door…..which ISN’T USED OVERNIGHT.
I hate LA.
Anyway…then LA to Dallas. Or something. Then Dallas to KC.
It took a LONG time. But I got home.
This week is hellish though. Argh. SOON!
Did I mention I hate flying though? I always have to check out fearofflying.com around this time…before I fly. I’ve flown on over 30 flights and I STILL hate it. (Though….I’m not so bad once I’m actually in the air. Its just the anticipation of it. )
Thanks so much for your prayers, guys!
Saturday, June 14, 2003
A Place to Belong....
Hey. I got my computer to work. Yay.
So….just to satisfy the masses….you get a “random” post from me today. Its 1:37am here. So no promises on quality or anything.
I miss church. I’ve been here nearly a year and I’ve never found a good church. I got tired of looking a while back. I felt like I was getting ignored by family every Sunday morning. My boss at the youth project keeps pressuring me to find one, while also pressuring me NOT to go to one of the Youth Project churches that I think I may fit in well with (this is because he goes to the one with the inferiority complex). At our meeting today I finally just said: “Does the way that the church members in ANY of the churches feel about one or more of the other churches supersede my being able to go to a church I feel comfortable in? And if it does, SHOULD it?” That kinda shut him up. But I know it wouldn’t just be HIM feeling that way, it would be a lot of people at that church. I hate church politics….I hate them even more when I get caught in the middle of them. He tried to tell me that the Youth Project IS my church. Bull crap. Rotating churches every Sunday cannot replace a stable community, especially when you are as far from home as I am.
Anyway. So tonight I watched a video of Hillsongs.(Along with Friends and Will and Grace and Cast Away....it was a night in...) I’m not a huge fan of Hills Christian Life Centre, mostly because I’ve been there. I have a few issues with their theology. But I watched the tape and realized how much I really miss meaningful GROUP worship. I’ve had some good personal worship times with God. But it doesn’t compare to community. I actually started to cry, realizing how much I missed that. Only a few more weeks….
I really miss home. I talked to Mom for a long time the other night and realized I just really wanted to go back and go to Denny’s with her at 1am and get coffee and smokes with her and talk about guys and love and work and God. I need a recharge so desperately. Tonite I just wanted to be with mom and run to Blockbuster and rent a movie and eat Ben and Jerry’s with her on the couch. I wanted to see my friends. I wanted to be free from all this worry and stress surrounding the last few weeks of college. Only 6 more days, and everything will be in. Only a little bit of work to do between then and when I leave for home. But even that date is getting flopped around. Dunno when I’m going home yet. Still need a ticket, and mom is having trouble paying for all that and all of college. Its not cheap. I know she’ll find a way, but….its just unsettling.
But God is good. And He’s faithful. This much I know.
Life it just goes on/When the traveller’s gone/And that’s the hardest part/Cause time has no respect/For a lonley man/With a longing heart/Cause once you’re where you’ve wanted/Everything’s so fast/But I’ll be home soon/I’ll be home soon
And if you have a place/Where you belong/You’re a lucky one/For time was meant to waste/A laugh with good old friends/Or walking hand in hand/I can’t believe I’ll be there/And this time I can stay/But I’ll be home soon/I’ll be home soon
So chariot come and swing low/Cause I’m hard to see/So far below/And this place tries so hard/To break a man/But I’ve tried to stand/But I’m drowning in its sorrows/Need to catch my breath/But I’ll be home soon/I’ll be home soon.
(“I’ll Be Home Soon” A Place To Belong, The Normals)
Friday, June 13, 2003
Yeah, so my computer died. Or, the internet part of it, anyway. That's why I haven't been around. And the work computer is crapped up too. Good timing, eh? I'll probably be back online next week.
Oh, and the pics are gone because my host cancelled my free account...for some reason. No idea. I'm confused.
Anyway. Sorry guys. Be back as soon as I can!
Sunday, June 08, 2003
You gotta hear this guy.
Thursday, June 05, 2003
Very...how you say...PSYCHO!
(Written last Saturday actually....so, the 31st. I'm a little behind this week. And by "little behind" I really mean "I wish I had a little behind." Ha.)
Well, if I already mentioned the first day of spring to you guys, today is the first day of summer. Unfortunately, I managed to sleep through half of it – and thanks to a broken shower and clothes that weren’t quite dry yet, it took a few more hours to get out of the flat.
Ran into The Eccentric Neighbor in the hall. I don’t think I’ve mentioned her yet, have I?
Personally, I fully believe that every single person should have an Eccentric Neighbor. I happen to think mine is more eccentric than most.
The woman has got to be over 60, with dyed jet black hair, past her shoulders, and frizzy. On top of this mane, she wears a tiara. Yes, you read that right – a tiara. She wears a wool, black coat with fur trim that goes past her knees – no matter what the weather. (Today was nearly 80 degrees. I’m sweating in a long-sleeved t-shirt. Upon closer inspection, one finds the following:
-Black, patterned hosiery, her favorite style being cross-checked.
-Jackie-O dark black sunglasses
-Massive amounts of jewelry
-A large (and by large, I mean Texas-sized) broach with a Coronation photo of the Queen. And for you Americans, that’s the day the Queen became the Queen. ;)
-Large black handbag.
-And I can’t be sure, but I think I’ve spotted her with a small, yapper-type dog – but its possible I just made this up in my head, seeing that it goes with the whole persona.
In walking out the front door, I always prepare myself for a bit of Scottish chill in the air…which is why I was completely unprepared for a gush of warm air. What? Have I been transported elsewhere? Holy crap, its beautiful outside. And so – I set out on the usual weekend route….down Spottiswoode Street…through the Meadows….down Jawbone Walk, to Starbucks. (I told you I hate Starbucks. And I do. But I think they put a special chemical it that makes you CRAVE IT FORTNIGHTLY!!!! ) The Meadows were chock-full today – couples and singles and groups of friends and bicycle riders and runners and walkers and gawkers and jugglers and football and cricket matches. If I didn’t know better, I’d think there was a festival going on.
Near the old Hospital sat a busker – a colleges student, with a guitar and an open hat, singing for change. He was singing (too loudly, if I’m being honest…) “Counting Blue Cars”. Remember that song? “Tell me all your thoughts on God….cuz I’d really like to meet her…ask her why we’re who we are….tell me am I very far….”
I remember when that song came out, a bunch of Christians got their panties all in a bunch because God was referred to as “she”….seems sad that the point was lost…..its about seeking.
Amazing, how Christians seem to shoot themselves in the foot so often. As previously stated….its all about marketing, people!!!! ;)
A short walk from the singing guy and I found myself in the middle of this warm, clean smell that reminded me of Australia, summer (or, um, winter…) of 99. Smelt (is that a word?) just like that.
Then I came to Starbucks where I ordered and iced tea and listened to the baristas make jabs about each others softball throwing abilities.
And now….I have three letters to write to people. And I already feel like this post is boring. Eeks! I’m losing my touch.