Saturday, March 29, 2003

Kids These Days

Actual conversation just seconds ago between me and the 11-year-old next to me, here at the internet cafe.

"Excuse me, but will you play this game with us?"

"Sorry, but I don't know how."

"So? I didn't either, you can still play!"

"I think I'll pass for now, sorry."

"Aaaach, you're so rubbish!"

Thanks, kid.


Michaela @7:55 PM :: Comment


Hey Guys....

OKAY, so halfway between my flat and here (internet cafe) I realized I left ALL my fantastic writing (that I was gonna put HERE) back at my flat. Sorry. I'm greatly annoyed.
Almost as annoyed as still not getting my phone reconnected. Should probably happen late this week. ARGH. But I'll get that stuff I left at my flat here...probably tommorrow. This cafe is taking my life savings.

Matt Spindler: "You're so ghetto. Getting your phone disconnected."

Michaela Concurs.


Michaela @7:53 PM :: Comment

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Yeah, so you know when you get an A on a paper, you can be sure that the NEXT paper is gonna be a big fat F?!

Today is kinda like that. CRAP.

I did a stupid and forgot to pay the phone bill, and so they cut us off and now all the guys are gonna get mad at me and I have to come to this stupid internet cafe and pay through the nose to satisfy my internet addictions and its my DAY OFF and I hate when my days off are crappy. And I feel like poop.

Anyway, soooo...I'll be back as soon as I figure out how I'm gonna pay my phone bill. *sigh*


Michaela @5:24 PM :: Comment


Today.

I cannot begin to tell you how beautiful today is.

I had to work this morning, but thankfully not too long. I rushed out as fast as I could to enjoy this day.

If feels like the first day of spring. Everything that I say from here on out will sound just as cliché as that just did, but it can’t be helped – this day just IS that perfect.

It’s a day filled with dog walkers and baby carriages and light breezes and kids playing basketball. Its couples, young and old, walking hand in hand…(And by the way, if you marry me, promise me you’ll still hold my hand when I’m old and gray and wrinkled.…)

It’s a day of workmen taking longer breaks in the sun, of old ladies venturing out to do their shopping, of little girls on pink bicycles with a bell that sounds like the one I had on my Strawberry Shortcake bike when I was four…..

On the way to the bus stop, I passed a woman mowing her lawn, the first I’ve seen this year. I took a deep breath and remembered the smell of fresh-cut grass pouring into my open windows after Dad cut the grass on those long summer days….

Its old men reading books on porches.

Its old ladies knitting with the windows open.

Its college students in Marchmont enjoying their spring break in the Meadows……

I’ve been waiting for this day since I moved to Marchmont.

Just at the end of my street is the Meadows. I’ve mentioned the Meadows before – the “Central Park” of Edinburgh. Its huge, really, stuck between Morningside and Newington, The Old Town and Marchmont. I walk through it almost daily, and I think of how great the summer here will be, to get out there with my book and notepad and pen…

So I rushed home from the bus stop, and threw the following into a large bag:

-Big blue throw blanket
-Journal
-Notepad
-Favorite pen (Berol, “Handwriting”, Med point, Blue, 99p at your local Margiotta)
-One large jug of lemonade with ice
-Book: “Generation X”, by Douglas Coupland
-Bible: maroon, travel-sized, NASV
-Notably absent: cell phone

At the corner Margiotta, I stopped to buy the following:

-Tikka wrap sandwich
-Big Bag of Walkers chips (cheese and onion flavor)
-Pack of citrus Polos
-Cadbury Crème Egg
-Bag of McVites’ chocolate chip cookies

And I am now writing to you (although not yet typing of course…) from the middle of the Meadows. In front of me, the sun gets lower past the spire of Morningside Church of Scotland. Edinburgh Castle rises up on the hill to my right. Directly behind me sits Arthur’s Seat, a huge hill that overlooks Edinburgh – on which I plan to get engaged someday, if I could only find the guy…..

I’m surrounded by a big green expanse, dotted with bicycle riders and groups of college students in discussion books, or playing football, or just people watching. The playground 150 yards to my right is filled with talking mums and screaming kids, while seagulls sweep overhead.

Did I mention the grass is the color of emerald, and soft enough to sleep on and any stadium owners dream?

It seems horribly ironic that this amazing day occurs here while such hell goes on a world away…

Keep praying…

I feel so undeserving, so blessed. I’ve been missing home a lot lately, and today reminds me of how awesome this place is. As if I should have to be reminded…..

And I am quite sure that I have never loved Edinburgh, Scotland as much as I do today…..


Michaela @2:58 AM :: Comment

Monday, March 24, 2003

Hey guess what. At the store yesterday, I ran into a guy who was actually wearing a HYPERCOLOR shirt!!!!!

Man, those were COOL.

(I wonder if his actually still works?)


Michaela @7:04 PM :: Comment


Beautiful Day//Beautiful Mess

This is the most amazingly beautiful day to happen upon Edinburgh since I've arrived. If you think I'm gonna sit here and update my blog, you're all mental.

I'll tell you about it later though!!!

(Hey, have I mentioned how great you guys are? Thanks for coming back and reading my incoherent ramblings and wanna-be writing. I do appreciate it. :))


Michaela @12:33 PM :: Comment

Sunday, March 23, 2003

Swoonage By Unicycle

I tried to get here before the sun went down-over past the edges of the buildings....
I get my favourite seat – the bench next to the window…sit sideways, back to the wall, so I can see the whole café, and outside the window to Marchmont Road.

On the other side of the café sits a little old Asian man. He doesn’t read, he doesn’t work. He sits. He observes. He’s curious. He’s inobrustive because that’s what little old Asian men do, I guess – the sit in cafés and think about life and you just wanna give them a hug.

Or maybe that’s just me.

He looks at everything – even the wall display with advertisement postcards – with wonder and amazement. Beyond him sits a young black man – West African, I suspect, as many here are. He sits behind his glasses and reads a book.
All this makes me smile and love Edinburgh – and Marchmont, and this café – all the more.

The pigeons wander around the tables at the front of the café, enjoying the messiness of past customers. They’re like the mice of the bird kingdom, really – almost cute, but still…gross.

I break out my book – “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius”, which I STILL haven’t finished because I like it too much. (Go figure THAT one out.) Outside the window, 10 feet away, sits 3 college students – I’m assuming – two guys and one girl. One of the guys and the girl have their backs to me. They are quite obviously “the couple”. The other guy is directly facing me. This would probably bother me more, except he’s a relatively good-looking guy.

This of course means, that I will not, cannot look at him. I can only look when I have a good excuse.

I hide behind my book and notepad, armed with “The Purposeful Look”. “I’m sorry Mr. Hot Dude, this book and my writing are SO much more important than you. You realize this right? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Just making sure that’s perfectly clear.”
I have mastered the look, not because I ever need the look, but I sometimes imagine so….

Hot Dude talks to his friend and makes large gestures with his arms – a movement that works well enough as an excuse for me. I glance out the window and….AHHHH!!!!!! He’s looking back! THAT WASN’T PART OF THE PLAN!!!

Back to the book and notepad.
Studious.
Uninterested.
Aloof, even.

I can feel him still looking. Okay, well I can’t, but I can tell myself that he is.

He looks at the girl in the glasses and the cute flipped-up short hair, armed with her book and pen and paper and tea and croissant and look of “aloofness” and thinks: “My word, she’s amazing.” He quickly maps out a lifetime in his mind – meet at a coffeeshop…courting…(he calls it that because it sounds better than dating, hah…)..visits to the National Portrait Gallery and Robbie Burns house and picnics in the Meadows…wedding in a huge church….company car and trips to Crete and twin girls, Molly and Megan…..
He makes a few more large gestures with his arms and I think HA, I’m not gonna fall for that one again. I look out the window at everything else but him…oh that passing 41 bus is so interesting, would ya lookitthat?….

His heart sinks. He thinks….oh if not for the glass between us…maybe…
He gives up. He stands (he’s short…). He picks up his backpack, says a mock-cheerful goodbye to his friends, takes a long lingering look at the girl in the glasses (ok, so I didn’t see it, but I’m sure it was there….) and reluctantly walks away….

Aw. Come back, Short Hot Dude.
I keep reading.
10 minutes.
15.

HEY! Hot Dude comes back! Complete with…..

A unicycle.

Wait a minute…was that a….
Yes he brought a unicycle.
Did he bring a UNICYCLE?!

He sits and adjusts something with the wheel – I look at the wheel of course, and not him – and the friends smile.
He finishes, places the unicycle on the ground, stands to the side. Its all a but blurry of course, our of the corner of my eye.
He’s suddenly on the unicycle. Wait, how did THAT happen?!

Hmm.

The next time this magical phenomenon happens, I watch more closely (watch the unicycle…not the guy. Of course…). He puts his foot on one of the pedals, and jumps, and he’s on, balancing back and forth. And the friends laugh.

So…is that guy actually riding a unicycle out the window? I still find this unbelievable. Who decided hot guys were allowed to ride unicycles?!

On the other hand…it IS kinda cute….

As soon as this thought enters my mind, I immediately feel caught.
He tried to impress the cute girl with the glasses with his superior unicycling skills.

And DANG IT, it worked.



Michaela @1:28 AM :: Comment

Saturday, March 22, 2003

DOH!!! I know I haven't updated since Monday. I do have lots to write, but haven't had time to get it here yet. I'm hoping to later tonite....so come back!!! Bring your friends!!!

Oh, and in case you were wondering, the Nickel Creek concert was so amazing....I nearly cried it was so beautiful. :)


Michaela @4:28 PM :: Comment

Monday, March 17, 2003

Raging Cow Disease.

OK, so I'm sure most of you haven't heard about this. In the "web log community", there has been a bit of an "uproar", shall we say, over a little marketing dealio. The Dr Pepper/7 Up company decided as a marketing plan for their new flavoured milk (gross!), "Raging Cow", they would make use of the high readership of web logs. The flew 6 of the top bloggers between the ages of 18-25 to their headquarters and...I dunno, probably gave them a tour and a bunch of money and free Dr Pepper for life or something (I'm not really sure). Anyway. In exchange, the bloggers were supposed to-covertly-help them market Raging Cow. They would casually mention it....and they put in links to ragingcow.com, a fake "blog", in which the only hint of its ownership by Dr Pepper/7up is thru the tiny litte "2003" mark in the bottom left corner, which opens to a Privacy Statement. Personally, upon examination of this site, I can't figure out why reading it would make me want to buy flavoured milk. But whatever.

So bloggers go nuts, saying that the company isn't being honest in its marketing, the "real" bloggers have "sold out" (someone actually said: "Isn't there such a thing as credibility on the net?" HA!!) etc, etc, and bloggers everywhere are calling for a boycott of Dr Pepper and subsidaries. And what do I have to say about this?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!!!!

C'MON PEOPLE!!!!!! Since when has marketing EVER BEEN HONEST????!!!!! The blogging community is just pissed off that THEY were not included in the 6 people to get this great deal. If Dr. Pepper himself showed up at their doorstep with the same deal, they'd be all over it. People. Please. Get a grip.

Another thought.....these 6 bloggers...I've been to some of them. And...um...they aren't that great. Are these REALLY the top 6 bloggers?! If so....man, I should be rakin in MILLIONS with the endorsement deals coming my way soon.....

The good news is that I found a link to boymeetslife.com, which is a pretty decent blog by a Christian dude, Carlo. He's a little obsessed with his own biceps, but other than that, he's cool. He's admittedly pretty hot, so hey, he can get away with it. (But still. Its annoying.) Go there anyway.

And that's what I have to say about all this.


Michaela @8:38 PM :: Comment


Ghetto BBQ

Just another reason I miss KC....

Two of my good friends, Andrea and Nick, eating some "ghetto BBQ" in KC. Andrea is doing the School of Photography in Kona, Hawaii, and Nick is part of a ROCKIN band called GameTime. Go check out their websites. :)


Michaela @2:03 AM :: Comment

Sunday, March 16, 2003

Thunderstorms

If there’s one thing I miss about Kansas City, it’s the thunderstorms. It doesn’t storm here in Scotland, it pisses.

Back in KC last summer, I remember racing the black storm clouds home, in my 1979 Thunderbird, then watching them roll in, through my windows. I lived at my aunt and uncle’s house last summer, far enough away from the city to enjoy the darkness and hear the crickets sing loudly. During the storms, I’d watch the dark sky light up and illuminate the world for a moment…then another… If you close your eyes quickly enough, you can still see the lightning, lingering between your eyes and your eyelids…

I miss the feel and smell of the air, right before a storm. The air grips your skin and won't let go, for the life of it. You swim from air-conditioning to air-conditioning. It smells like summer, thick and rich and full of the life of a thousand lemonade stands and garage sales and wading pools and baseball games.

And right now….I need a thunderstorm more than anything.


Michaela @8:06 PM :: Comment


Where's the Love?

OK, so I said I would post about the "internet relationships" deal. First of all......YOU GUYS ASSUME TOO MUCH! No, I don't want to make out with you. Well at least not most of you. Okay, maybe some of you. Kidding. What was I saying? Internet.
Well. To be honest, I did have a previous experience with it. It didn't work out, but its wasn't because of the fact that it was an "internet relationship". It more or less fell apart because of distance. (When one of you is in Asia....and the other is in the States...that's a big distance.) It would have been the same scenario if it was a "real life" relationship, and one of us moved away. It was simply too hard. But I still hold him in deepest respect. It just wasn't meant to be. BUT I've seen some that REALLY have gone awry....where one person was a different person entirely.
I think you guys already said what I would have said, and said it better than I could (at 4am, anyway). God can work in crazy ways. But overall....its darn good to actually just BE with someone, ain't it?

Basically, I just loved that ya'll commented for once. :)


Michaela @3:52 AM :: Comment


OK, forget all this war stuff. You know what is a travesty?

THE PRICE OF TOILET PAPER!!!!!!!!!

Its insane. Supply and demand sucks. I should not have to pay that much (about £1 a roll) for BOG ROLL!

*The End*


Michaela @2:34 AM :: Comment

Saturday, March 15, 2003

So I've sat here for like 3 hours, intended to Blog, but gettin distracted. I really am going to post what I think on the whole internet dating thing. But now I'm beyond tired, so I'll save that.

For now, go watch more Strong Bad. You know you want to.

And leave any random comments here. Like....who are you? Who was your favorite Spice Girl? Do I know you in *real* life? Did you just stumble across this site while looking for some dirty site that has something to do with "grannies" and "underwear? Because that's just sick, man. Have you ever taken up the sport of curling?

Don't answer these questions. Come up with your own.

Oooh man its way too late.

Goodnight.


Michaela @4:45 AM :: Comment

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

Rose Street, 8:32pm

In between St Andrews Square and Hanover Street, is Rose Street. Its a fancy alleyway actually....with entrances to Jenners, and Marks and Spencer, and Sainsburys. I could hear him before I could see him.....just on the other side of the California Coffee Company stand, he stood....guitar in hand, harmonica to mouth. A busker, as they are called here...maybe in the States, too, I don't remember. Its a dark stretch of Rose, not much traffic at this time, after most of the shops are closed.

And he was terrible. I mean REALLY awful. I had to double back for something, so ended up passing him 3 times. The third time, I dropped 40p in. He stops his horrible song and says, "Hey, thanks!" in complete sincerity.

Three times. Why was it, that every time I passed, I nearly cried?


(I'll write about yesterdays question later, I promise.....)


Michaela @2:10 AM :: Comment

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

Three Things:

One: I want to hear everyone's thoughts on "internet romance". Yes, this requires your actual interaction, so feel free to use the "comments" button at the bottom, or email me at forbieland@yahoo.com. I have my own thoughts on it, and have recently been talking to a friend of mine about it...well 2 of them...who've found themselves in the middle of one. So....good things? Bad things? Semi-logarithmic things? Is "logarithmic" a word? Send me your thoughts.

Two: Its now become my life-long dream (as of....yesterday) to get as many cool and famous moms to read my blog. I'm thinking that Bono's mom is definitely the ultimate. Followed closely by the mom of that girl who played Winnie on The Wonder Years.

Three: Um, I forget number three now. Shoot.

Have a great Tuesday.
Michaela "The Yellow Dart" Forbes


Michaela @1:46 AM :: Comment

Monday, March 10, 2003

PBJ

And, on the same note, if THIS doesn't make you at least smile....well, then you are hopeless.


Michaela @2:26 AM :: Comment

Saturday, March 08, 2003

The Funniest Thing Ever In The History Of The World

Click HERE


Michaela @6:14 PM :: Comment


The Best Things In Life Are Free

I think that one of the best things in the world is waking up, thinking you'll have to get up, rolling over to the clock to see you have a few more hours. That's just amazing. Beautiful, even.


Michaela @4:18 PM :: Comment

Friday, March 07, 2003

Bloggin Phenom.

Is it not the wierdest thing, to find that other people - people you don't know in real life, sometimes don't even know in "internet life" - have linked to your site? Its weird to think that someone actually enjoys your randomness so much that the recommend this to others.

What's even weirder, is how excited this makes me. For all I know, so-and-so who has linked me could be a mass-murderer. Yet this would still excite me. More hits! Yay hey! I check my Site Meter a few weeks ago, and find I've been referred from a webite: scottraymond.net. I go there, and cannot find where I might have been linked from. I then realize he has an "elsewhere" part, where random links that he's put in come up. I refresh like 10 times before it appears: THIS BEAUTIFUL MESS...the weblog of michaela forbes. This excites me. I refresh repeatedly...to an exausting, and relatively embarrassing degree, just to see how often I come up. Not often. I later learn I'm one of like 3500 links in there. (He also has some killer quotes on there, too...which was another excuse I made to myself to explain all the refreshin.) But that makes it all the more exciting when I DO see my link pop up. Or get a referral from it. (I remember when I was 10, realizing that I would never want to live in Orlando, because then Disney World would become too familiar. Same sorta thing here. Kinda.)

Anyway, how that I've scared the shite out of Scott, go visit his site. He's a smart dude.

Mic

P.S. In no way do I think Scott is a mass-murderer, by the way.


Michaela @12:56 PM :: Comment


One More Thing.

So I'm reading Adam Duritz's (is that the posessive of Duritz? I have no idea...) journals and he keeps going on about Gemma Hayes' album, "Night On My Side". (Gemma opened for them on their European tour...which I got to see January 25th in Glasgow, muah ha ha!) The album really is amazing, I discovered her back around September.

Anyway, the point to this is....I can't imagine writing an album that Adam-Freaking-Duritz would be crazy about. So crazy about, that he would ask me to open for them. This is beyond my wildest.

For those of you who are Counting Crows fans, just you go let that settle into your brain. You're boggled, aren't you?

For those of you who aren't...well you should be.


Michaela @3:03 AM :: Comment


Stuck Here Waiting.....

One would think that if you have been stuck in bed sick like me for the past few days, that you wouldn’t have much to write about. On the contrary, when my body stops working, my brain tends to shift into overdrive – and since I’m sick a lot, this becomes dangerous.

On Tuesday, I had lots to say. I think of things and say HEY, Mic, that would be great to share in your Blog. But by that night, I was sick…again. No Bloggin for me. What’s the deal with my sinuses, eh? (Not that I expect an answer to that.) Freaking heck, they are so wrecked, I’d give them to charity if I could. They are of better use in a junkyard. The past two and a half days have been a constant headache- in the literal sense of the word- with the exception of about 20 minutes this afternoon. SO anyway, you certainly don’t want to hear about my medical annoyances, and I certainly don’t want to write about them. So I’m gonna write about other things. No promises on where this could end up.

I quoted Kierkegaard last post, because I’ve been reading about him. The guy was pretty fascinating…in that sort of jacked up, melancholy sorta way. But aren’t we all. But the guy was brilliant. (Why are all brilliant people mad or sad or both?) He had some dodgey theology, especially from the Trinitarian viewpoint. But he had some amazing things to say. And he totally messed with people heads….he’s write using pseudonyms, and people would take it at face value, which wasn’t how it was intended at all. It was great. Anyway. All this is to say, he’s freaking hard to read, but its good stuff. I recommend “Provocations”, published by Plough. It cuts some of his best stuff into smaller, easier to read bits and quotes. And y’all know that I love quotes anyway.

And today, the philosophy and theology of Kierkegaard is accompanied by the music of Nirvana, Dave Matthews Band (currently playing: Under the Table and Dreaming…man this album will always be stellar), Ani DiFranco, and Counting Crows . Am I weird?

So tonight, my roommate Chris (the cool one), went to see "The Ring". It scared him. Therefore, he’s currently sitting in my room, unable to sleep, reading my Calvin and Hobbes book. I find this hilarious. He brought tea and cookies though, so I can’t complain. I’ll kick him out soon.

Realizing that my bread usually goes bad before I can get around to eating it all, I’ve taken to buying the special “Seven Days Fresh!” bread, in the silver packaging. This has got to be LOADED with preservatives. I figure, if I eat enough of this stuff, I could live forever.
I swear, I should have gone into advertising.

Travelling to Glasgow for college is always interesting. I’m up at 6:30 to get there by 9. This involves a bus ride to city center (15 mins), short walk to the bus station, another bus to Glasgow (hour and 15 mins) and another walk to college. Tuesdays travel was more interesting than most…….
Last Friday I saw my youth project treasurer at Verve (our youth café). I told him I had NO money to get to college. He paid me £30….completely in 50p, 20p, 10p and 5p coins from the float. The guy at AllDays was starting to feel sorry for me after 2 days of coming in and buying cans of beans with 20p coins. (Insert your own “slot machine winning” joke here.) So, of course this leaves me with £10….entirely in 5p and 10p coins. Crap.
I pay for the initial 80p bus ride in all 5p coins. (They can’t complain on Lothian Buses, they don’t care.) But I had to pay for the Glasgow bus….£5.50. And I knew the guy wouldn’t take that in 5 and 10p coins. So I stop at the local newsagent after I got off the bus, praying he needed the change. He didn’t seem to mind: *insert Indian accent*: “Ooh, bery good, okay yes.” On the way, I decide to get a coffee from California Coffee Company, the best coffee in Edinburgh. And he says its okay to pay in 5p coins, yay! He kinda reminded me of Silly Joe, he was hilarious. But he counted coins DANG SLOW. So I missed my bus. CRAP. I get the next one…..
Its always these bus and train rides that make me so happy to live in Edinburgh. I hate mornings, but the city is spectacular in the morning…especially those mornings where the mist comes in and sits low. It all seems like a fairy tale, really. Think…Dickens’ London. Except in Edinburgh. And without Dickens.
Of course, this is all ruined by a mass-murderer-type guy sitting in the seat in front of you on the bus. He was scary, dude. Could be worse. He could have been sitting next to me. (This has happened before.)

Dreams update: Last night I dreamt I was getting married (I have no idea to whom, so don’t even try asking, boys….), and I didn’t have a dress. My mom and I were driving all over town, and I was trying on these tacky dresses…including one that was bright red and white (yes, I dream in color). I looked like a walking Valentines Day card. I was in tears. In the process, I ran across this costume wearhouse, and found all my old costumes from when I was in “The Music Man” in high school. I woke up before finding a suitable dress.
The night before….I dreamt a lot, but the only part I remember is getting mauled by a dog. I was running through this huge, old mansion…dark, lots of rooms and halls….and I run into one, and get attacked by a dog. My right arm. Matt (Spindler) says this means that I have a “friend” now that is really an enemy. So, if you are reading this, and that person is you, might as well fess up now, I’m on the case.

I’m thinking its high time for a GOOD dream. And by “good” I mean………..


Michaela @2:24 AM :: Comment


The greatest danger to Christianity is, I contend, not heresies, heterodoxies, not atheists, not profane secularism – no, but the kind of orthodoxy which is cordial drivel, mediocrity, served up sweet. There is nothing that so insidiously displaces the majestic as cordiality. Perpetually polite, so small, so nice, tampering and meddling and tampering some more – the result is that majesty is completely defrauded – of course, only a little bit. And right here is the danger, for the infinite is more disposed to a violent attack than to becoming a little bit degraded – amid smiling, Christian politeness. And yet this politeness is what our Christianity amounts to. But the very essence of Christianity is utterly opposed to this mediocrity in which it does not so much die, as dwindle. – Soren Kierkegaard


Michaela @2:18 AM :: Comment

Wednesday, March 05, 2003

"I think it takes an amazing amount of energy to convince oneself that the Forever Person isn't just around the corner. In the end I believe we never do convince ourselves.....

Time ticks by; we grow older. Before we know it, too much time has passed and we've missed the chance to have had other people hurt us. To a younger me this sounded like luck; to an older me, this sounded like a quiet tragedy."


-Yet again: Douglas Coupland, Life After God


Michaela @4:17 AM :: Comment

Tuesday, March 04, 2003

"...I remember thinking that unless I knew what was going on inside of someone else's head other than my own I was going to explode...."

-Douglas Coupland, Life After God


Michaela @2:40 AM :: Comment

Saturday, March 01, 2003

What A Girl Wants

I had two vivid dreams last night, both concerning a Certain Guy. Its odd, because I don’t ever really dream about guys that I like. In one of them, we were at this place…it was a weird combination of a casino and a café. We sat in a booth, like a Denny’s or something, but there was a slot machine on the wall, and CG plays cards with another friend of ours. But CG was at the end of the booth, and I was tired, so I lay my head on his lap while he continued to talk and play cards, but he put his right arm around me. And I hadn’t felt that safe in a really long time…..

In the other, I was back in high school. The room was actually similar to my old elementary school. And my class was full of the usual suspects, friends I have now, and who didn’t actually go to HS with me. But….something happened, and the teacher (a fat little old lady) went psycho and went to attack me. But before she got there, CG jumps in and takes me away, saves me.

And I woke up, and hurt with the fact that it was all a dream....

The weird thing about dreams is that they don’t seem weird when you are in them. So, when now, I’d normally just think: “Wow, how psycho that a teacher would attack me”….if I remember back into it, that really wasn’t the issue. I only felt an overwhelming sense of being protected. And safe. And this is what girls want, guys.

Are you listening?

Some of us (*cough*me*cough*) may seem all tough, and we may even try and convince you that we don’t care whether or not you are around to protect us. This is probably because we try and convince ourselves of that. But its not true. We want to be protected, and we want to be safe. We want this because it’s a picture of God. We want it because in Him is perfect protection and safety. You are not God…but we ache for a phyical picture of Him in you.

So be careful with us.


Michaela @4:46 PM :: Comment



"In the city you will find that the poor and the broken are often much, much more open to the idea of Gospel grace and much more dedicated to its practical outworkings than you are." (Tim Keller)

"Always On Your Side" by Sheryl Crow