Tuesday, September 30, 2003

I laughed....I cried....

At this site right here.

(I have Matt to thank for this, by the way. Credit where its due...)



Michaela @1:34 PM :: Comment

Monday, September 29, 2003

Too much television watchin got me chasin dreams...foo...

So, when I was sitting on the school bus...on my way to a million volleyball games, back in 8th grade...listening to the immortal words of Coolio, singin "Gangsta's Paradise"...

I don't think I ever imagined I'd STILL be hearing it....as a grown adult (sorta...) at my "real" job at a community centre...in Scotland.....


I'm the kinda G that little homies wanna be like, on my knees in the night, sayin prayers by the street light....

Peace OUT,

Michaela @4:57 PM :: Comment


Some of you might remember the following post I made on this blog, following a visit to a Baptist church, May 3rd:

Open Letter to All Clergy

When presiding over the communion service, please do not refer to the red stuff as "wine" when it is really just grape juice.

It gets my hopes up.

Yours Truly,
Michaela M. Forbes

I have now found THE CHURCH.

First of all...church tonite was really great. I went to P's and G's (St Pauls and St Georges), a church that keeps getting recommended to me, but never had made it to yet, in my search for a good church. But I LOVED it. Its a great mix of tradition and relevancy. Awesome worship. Congregation of both young and old, but a lot of young. Good preaching. It was communion night, which always makes me somewhat wary, going into a new church. There are all sorts of protocols, ya know? Different in each church. You gotta go to the right
place at the right time and say the right things and do the right thing...unless of course you're at a "take one down, pass it around" kinda church where you just sit there and pass the plate along.

(I don't like those for several reasons:..... 1) Where is the community in THAT?..... 2) That wafer is SO not filling. At least when you can tear off your own piece of bread,you can opt for "snack-time sized" or "I just brushed my teeth" sized...but with wafer, you have no options..... 3) On a more serious note, there's no breaking of the bread, when you're talking wafers. Those puppies came straight from a machine. I think the breaking is pretty essential when we're talking about the Body of Christ....4) I ALWAYS...almost without fail....ALWAYS spill that little cup of grape juice. And so I end up not thinking about the actual service, while I'm holding that thing, waiting til we all take it together...no, I'm just nervous as all-get-out, waiting to spill it all over myself. I'm not joking there. Its almost a phobia. )

SO, I was thankful when we did the bread and "big cup" style at P's and G's. No fear of spilling all over myself. What was new to me was going up to an altar (I think there were 3 in this church) to kneel and receive it. I loved that.

First guy comes by with the bread....take a piece...pray...

Second guy comes by with the cup....take a dr---HOLY COW! THIS IS REAL WINE!!!! Its not grape juice!!!

Of course, I immediately thought of that post from May, and had to concentrate VERY hard on NOT smiling really big and/or laughing, on the way back to my pew.

Apparently, someone read my letter.

I have found my church.

Michaela @1:44 AM :: Comment

Saturday, September 27, 2003

Well Lookie There...

So apparently I've been listed on BlogShares for some time now, and I had no idea. And apparently, my shares are pretty darn high ("overpriced" however, according to the analysis...). I have no idea who decides my prices. Seems a lot of it has to do with linkage, and I have a lot of those.

The bad news is that I can barely afford my own shares. I can buy like....2. Or something.

BUT....y'all can go over to BlogShares and buy some, just for kicks and giggles. And to make me feel...bought? No, that's not right.

Well at least I'm not cheap!

Michaela @2:51 AM :: Comment

Thursday, September 25, 2003

You guys suck at this game.

I mean, seriously.


Michaela @11:23 PM :: Comment


Points of discussion:

1) When you were a kid, who was your favorite superhero?

2) Online dating: ever happen to you? would you? why or why not? (I know I've asked this before. So sue me...think of the new people!)

3) "Commiserations": without looking this up, what does this mean? (In your own words, please. Yes, we're bringing it back to jr. high, baby.)

4) "Go Shortie, it's your birthday...": Who is this "Shortie" person? When is his/her birthday?

5) Why is Michaela so awesome? (I've always wondered.)

You must answer all five! (Read: use the comment button.) Otherwise, NO BLOG FOR YOU! Okay that's not exactly true. I'll still let you in, I just won't like you anymore. I'll love you with the love of God and all...I just won't like you.

Speaking of the number "five" , I LOVE late-night baseball and American football on Channel 5 here in the UK. God Bless America.

"Everytime I look at myself...I can't believe how awesome I am..."

Pencils down, please.

Michaela @2:07 AM :: Comment

Tuesday, September 23, 2003


(Emily Dickinson)

“GOING to him! Happy letter! Tell him—
Tell him the page I did n’t write;
Tell him I only said the syntax,
And left the verb and the pronoun out.
Tell him just how the fingers hurried, 5
Then how they waded, slow, slow, slow;
And then you wished you had eyes in your pages,
So you could see what moved them so.

“Tell him it was n’t a practised writer,
You guessed, from the way the sentence toiled; 10
You could hear the bodice tug, behind you,
As if it held but the might of a child;
You almost pitied it, you, it worked so.
Tell him—No, you may quibble there,
For it would split his heart to know it, 15
And then you and I were silenter.

“Tell him night finished before we finished,
And the old clock kept neighing ‘day!’
And you got sleepy and begged to be ended—
What could it hinder so, to say? 20
Tell him just how she sealed you, cautious,
But if he ask where you are hid
Until to-morrow,—happy letter!
Gesture, coquette, and shake your head!”

Michaela @11:25 PM :: Comment

I *heart* Megan

MVDoulos: you are a babe
MVDoulos: If I were a dude, I'd TOTALLY ask you out
moochergrl: lol too bad you aren't then!
moochergrl: you know, i've never been asked out. not once. not one measly time. and that sucks. cause i moght not have said yes the the guy, but at least i could relish the fact i'd at least been asked out
MVDoulos: I dunno that I actually have either, I mean straight out......
moochergrl: yeah, but you've still dated
MVDoulos: that's not very defined though
moochergrl: lol
moochergrl: ok, whatever....:-P
MVDoulos: Hey Megan
MVDoulos: Are you doing anything on Friday?
MVDoulos: Cuz if not...
moochergrl: oh my gosh
MVDoulos: I've got two tickets to WWF Wresting....
moochergrl: don't even...
moochergrl: ahhhhhh
MVDoulos: and a coupon for a free Limeade at Sonic.
moochergrl: LOL
MVDoulos: is that a yes?
moochergrl: sure, why not!
MVDoulos: My scooter is in the shop though, so we'll have to take my mom's mini-van.
MVDoulos: But its got a sunroof.
MVDoulos: So its all good.
moochergrl: are you kidding me? i've never even heard of a minivan with a sunroof lol
MVDoulos: I bet they exist
moochergrl: maybe......not
moochergrl: it's possible though :)
MVDoulos: HEY
MVDoulos: I would bet you $1.78 that somewhere, somehow, there is a minivan with a sunroof.
moochergrl: yeah..i just found one
moochergrl: so i'm not making the bet :)
MVDoulos: cheater.
moochergrl: mwahahaha
MVDoulos: Come to think of it....I'm busy on Friday.
moochergrl: loser
MVDoulos: I'm taking out Susie Anne. From Algebra class.
moochergrl: got my hopes up and everything
MVDoulos: YOU'RE the loser.
MVDoulos: Loser.
moochergrl: you know how much i love wrestling!
MVDoulos: Get a boyfriend!
MVDoulos: Its not my fault a cow sat on your face!
MVDoulos: ha ha I love you Megan

Michaela @2:45 AM :: Comment

Monday, September 22, 2003

I will go before you and make rough places smooth...
I will shatter the doors of bronze and cut through their iron bars.
And I will give you the treasures of darkness
and hidden wealth of secret places...
In order that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel...
who calls you by name.

Isaiah 45:2-3

And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
So your God will rejoice over you.

Isaiah 62:5b

Michaela @1:53 AM :: Comment

Saturday, September 20, 2003

Oh the Huge Manatee!

Thanks to my good friend Joe Bassett (and his wife, Rhonda, AKA...."Mom")...we've been keeping fully updated, here at the "TBM Headquarters" (in grand Edinburgh, Scotland!) on the situation concerning "Hurricane Isabel" that hit the east coast of the United States....

Take it away, Joe...

update #1

ok... so as of now, delaware has been broken off of the continent, and we are now an island of misfits. the hurricane is taunting us by calling us a "sissy state of loser nascar fans".

more info will be reported as it happens.

signing off for KROCK news, this is reporter joe bassett the 3rd, esquire
update #2

due to the excessive wind speeds... i have now come into possesion of nice wig. so i am no longer bald.

just a few minutes ago, delaware was tossed around by what appears to be godzilla. all the nascar fans ran away screaming (but the words never matched their mouths) and rusty wallace got a flat tire on turn # 3. he has no chance to win at this point.

godzilla does appear to be heading to amish country, so bryan... beware.

signing off... joe bassett
update #3

in an attempt to fight off both godzilla and hurricane isabel... delaware has built a giant robot hamster to battle them. unfortanetly, the hamster couldn't swim... so it sank to the bottom of the ocean. we have now called in will smith to fight for us.

isabel said "you fight like little school girls, i shall rename you... little delaware prissy pants"

also, i've heard reports that godzilla is rampaging through amish country... it's a sad day for butter fans everywhere.

back to the studio....

update #4

it's mass chaos here in delaware... i'm not sure how long we can keep the connection up, but we will attempt to keep you updated as the storm moves on.

with me right now is a man who saw the hurricane with his own eyes....

joe- "sir, can you tell me what you saw"

man who saw hurricane- "i done seen the hurrimacane with my own eyes... it rained, and my cow cletus blew away... poor cletus. he was my good milking cow... dang gummit! all i know, is jeff gordon is #1!!! woooooooooooo, take that isa.... isab.... take that storm!!!!!!"

so there you have it, delaware's finest fighting against the storm...

will smith never came to delaware... he decided to do "wild wild west 2... another big fat paycheck for will" instead. in his place, chris rock was sent to fight the hurricane. right now, he is making fun of the hurricanes mother and it's "large backside". more on that later...

update #5

chris rock has been eaten by mothra! what a sad day this is... he never saw it coming. oh the humanity!

delaware is now attempting to offer the nascar fans and their rv's as a sacrifice to isabel... but that does not seem to be making her happy. we are now researching ways to survive the storm by watching "twister" and "the perfect storm"... that latter has convinced us to try and run delaware right up a giant wave. i'm not sure what good it will do, but it looked freakin cool in the movie.

also, i've decided to wear inflatable floaties on my arms in case i am swept out to sea... and also a spongebob bathing suit.

due to the death of chris rock, we've decided to send out for more help.... this time, we've called bruce campbell to help fight the storm, because, as we all know... he is "the man". we've also tried to get the x-men to help, but we've only been able to get a hold of the powerpuff girls.

reporting live from the island of delaware... i'm joe bassett
update #6

we've decided to confuse the hurricane by throwing a rock in the other direction... when it turns, we'll run the other way. a new problem did occur recently though...

while trying to move delaware, jaws attacked and ate jeff gordon. he also jumped out of the water (like in jaws 4-the revenge) and landed on delaware... eating everyone that ran by. to capture jaws, we tossed one of those plastic rings from a 6 pack of sodas at him, it wrapped around his neck and choked him. jaws never saw it coming.

so, our situation is like this...

delaware is an island
mothra is still attacking
isabel is slapping us around and calling us "betty"
jeff gordon, chris rock and gary coleman are dead
and just now, the stay puff marshmellow man attacked...

back to you troy


update # 7- the aftermath

delaware is in ruins, we have now been turned into a prison island that holds people who pull the tag off of their mattress (you know, the one that says "don't remove"). with insane criminals like that, delaware has become a madhouse.

the staypuff marshmellow man was defeated by a very large twig and a campfire.

gary coleman came back to life as a zombie and attacked me as i was taking a smoke break. i held the top of his head as he took swings at me with his little arms... and then he kicked me in the shins and ran away yelling "whatcha talkin bout willis". zombie gary coleman is still on the loose.

mothra flew into a giant bug zapper and died.

isabel ran away crying after we made fun of her "large rearend"... and that's the end of that.

reporting live from the delaware island prison.... i'm joe estevez

Michaela @1:15 AM :: Comment

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Monkey Vomit

Okay, so I realize I haven't updated since Sunday. This is probably mostly Tim's fault. Just so you all know.

Actually not much has really happened since then. I've been working at nights,which leads to me staying up late (I can never sleep right away after coming home) and then sleeping late...and then working nights again. Days have been filled with domestic-type things like dishes and washing and still trying to sort out all my things (its not the easiest thing, to go from a living room-sized bedroom to a box room. Where to put everything?!) and phone calls from Australia and America.

I'm REALLY looking forward to Friday actually. I get the whole day off. And I want to just chill and catch Mr Journal up with everything.

Scotland is beautiful this time of year, by the way. Yesterday I had 2 hours to kill, and I took little hike through the back of the Clerk Estate down by the River Esk. Its stunning, that walk. I just sat all alone and read the paper and ate my sandwich. Good times.

;) Mic

Michaela @4:28 PM :: Comment

Sunday, September 14, 2003

Holy Cow!

For those of you who know who she is, Lori Chaffer is pregnant.

Whoo hoo!

How come I feel like I'm the last to know about this? Thanks for keeping my UPDATED, Sco!


Michaela @12:04 AM :: Comment

Saturday, September 13, 2003

.....she was made for something more than struggle.....

This is an article in the recent issue of Relevant Magazine, the one I tried (in vain) to find before I left home. But April posted this on cc.net, and it blew me away completely. Derek seems to say things in a much better way than I ever could.

I suppose that's why he's the songwriter and I am not......

The Struggle to Love - Derek Webb

I love someone who is gay. I've known her since as long as I can remember, but only recently did she open up to me about her struggle. She knows me well, knows I don't condone the gay lifestyle because of my beliefs. So what do I do with this situation? Do I separate myself from her so as not to endorse her behavior? Or do I risk loving her when I don't know how? And what if it's not safe. I go to church. I love my wife. I call my mom on Sundays. But those things aren't who I am. Somewhere in finding out about my friend's stuggle, I find out more about my own.

Her sins are just like mine; they're just a different brand. She and her partner have been together for years now, living in isolation from the rest of us. As their secret wakes like a sleeping dragon, everybody starts getting nervous. Some of the onlookers want to run and make jokes, some want to fight and fix, and some pretend there's no dragon at all. Underneath the layers of mess and story, her emotions are hinged like a swinging door as she looks for unwavering acceptance. Over the years, her heart has been taken over in a silent war. Somewhere deep inside her, like the glow of a smoldering ember, remains the thought that she was made for something more than struggle. And I can deeply relate.

You see, the undeniable connection between us is that we both have struggles; it's just that mine are more socially acceptable. But sin and sickness is universal. Sin is not just in my actions; it's a condition. It is any and all the ways I try to be my own savior. It's the force that once made me God's enemy because I'm a son of the first Adam. It's this wretched heart of mine. Sometimes it's a matter of grabbing for power over people at my job, sometimes it's the lust to buy more "stuff" that will make me feel significant in front of my friends, and sometimes it's just the way I try to control my life to protect my own interests at all costs.

So, here's the connection between her and me: The bridge to reach her is in repentance. If I think my sins are petty, abstract and occasional, I will have no framework to give Jesus to someone who needs Him. Indeed, we were made for more than struggle. In fact, we were made for glory. But even now, God gives purpose to our struggle, and He is in charge of all that happens to us. I don't have the power to give my friend much resolution in her life, but I can give her Jesus. And He is enough.

So, once again I will discover that love is not safe. Love is not efficient. I'm sure I will disappoint her as we go, and I will fail over and over again in loving her well. But when you are in Jesus, your sin does not define you. It is not who you are. Jesus defines you. Christianity is the only religion where you don't have to clean yourself up before you can be saved and healed. Jesus' love for His sons and daughters is enough to win our hearts back from all the struggles we're bound to. And only His love can satisfy us. This is how I can love her still, without conditions. And this is the great hope I have for her heart and mine.

Michaela @7:08 PM :: Comment

Thursday, September 11, 2003

Home Sweet....um....Other Home

So I'm back in Edinburgh. Life is crazy. Ya know, there are very few times in life where I actually have so much to say that I get all flustered and can't really say it....but that's kinda how I feel.

I'm glad to be back. Leaving home was SO hard. As I may have said, this is the first time in a long time that Mom and I have been so close...then Dad ended up not being able to get to the airport in time and I had to leave anyway. And you feel like such a shmuck, crying on a plane, ya know? But, it IS good to be back. Its also extremely trippy, because I feel like....well I'm kinda seeing it in a new light. I feel like a tourist, in the sense that I see again just how beautiful and amazing it is here...but then I feel like I used to live here in a previous life or something and bizarrely know where everything is. Its strange that I call a beautiful city like this "home" even if for a short time.

I spent last night at Marian's place....last night me and her and Andy just say around and vegged out completely. It was so much fun. That's what we're best at really...that and watching movies...so it brings back a lot of old Doulos memories.

Today I went to check out that flat in Bruntsfield.....it being the only one I really had to look at. And its PERFECT. I can't believe how perfect it is. Its so much nicer than my flat was last year. SO much nicer. My room is smaller, because its an actual bedroom instead of a living room, but we have a living room in addition to it...and my room is a lot cozier. And its got a full size bed. Aw yeah.

But most important, Ruth and I TOTALLY hit it off, like we've been friends for years. She's awesome, I'm so excited she's gonna be my new flatmate. So....great flatmate....awesome flat....awesome area....awesome city.....

Dang. I have a great life.

The funny thing is that I probably wouldn't have this place if I hadn't decided there for a few weeks that I was gonna stay home...that delay made the timing of it all totally perfect. And I think this flat, and Ruth and getting into church, is gonna make a huge difference in not feeling so isolated here. Both me and Ruth were totally flabbergasted, seeing what God has done!

Other than that...I'm just really tired. Jet lag sucks. I don't have my laptop back yet, and Marian's computer is completely toasted, so I'm at an internet cafe right now. I'm moving into my new flat tonite, which is kinda exciting, and starting work next week. Ruth and I will likely get broadband since we both use the internet loads, so YAY for quick internet. I'm afraid I've been spoiled completely by the cable modem at mom's house.

:) I'm happy.

Michaela @2:47 PM :: Comment

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

More of Mom

Me: "Yeah so my nose started to blister from that sunburn..."

Mom: "Yeeeeaaah....I noticed that...it was blisterin up....like....a bunny."


Me: "Because.....that's what bunnies do. They....blister......

Mom: "Well....um.....shut up, or ....your ass will be blistered in a minute!"

At which we both dissolve into giggles.

Good comeback, Mom.

Michaela @7:51 AM :: Comment

Monday, September 08, 2003

"Good luck with your Christianity"

So today I go to Borders to buy a Bible and book about Christian belief, for a guy I know who isn't a Christian but is getting darn close to it. The book was, oddly, "The No-Brainers Guide to Christian Belief", in the "Dummies" genre of course. I was hesitant to get it, but I looked it over and its good solid stuff, and the writer I trust. So I take it to the counter, and the guy reads out the title while he scanning it.

"Heh, its a bit degrading, eh?" I say, joking.

"Well, just goes to show that....the Christian belief system isn't all that intellectual."

He was a cheery, friendly guy. He honestly wasn't trying to egg me on, he was just making conversation. I wasn't offended.

"Actually, I'd have to disagree."

"Uh....well I mean.....um...like TOO intellectualized."

"The basics are pretty simple, I'd say. So in that sense, sure. Til you get to the rest of it."


He finishes ringing it all through. I'd also bought a stick of Burts Bee's Lip Balm, my favorite lip balm in the world. Being the cheery guy he was, he says:

"Have fun with your lip balm!"

As I walk away, he says, quite sincerely:

"And good luck with your Christianity!"

I felt like I'd just bet on a horse at the races.


In other news, my mother actually said this today, on the way back from the two of us getting beers at our favorite bar:

"Man, if you're tokin some bad shit, you end up totally on the floor!"

She wasn't kidding, nor was she making fun of other manners of speech, or ethnicities.

She was serious.

I love my mother.

Michaela @4:50 AM :: Comment

Sunday, September 07, 2003

Hey Folks.

I finally updated my INFO page. Now its got an incredible amount of useless stuff about me. (I credit Coqui with the actual questions.) I'll get more pictures up there when I get back to my computer in Scotland, where I have them all.

And another thing....ya'll quit moaning about my new blog! Seems you guys either love it or hate it. Well I like it. And if you aren't looking at it on a bigger screen, then yes, the links will be harder to read. But.....SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE! It wasn't my fault it all went to POOP.

I'm just kidding, by the way. I do appreicate your opinions. It just doesn't mean I'll change it. :)

In other news, I'm flying to Scotland on Tues-Wed, and will be travelling to KC tommorrow, so I might not be around so much til...Wed or after. Its not because I don't love you.

If there are any other questions about me that you would like to know and are NOT answered there on that link (also found at the bottom of the links/comments column at all times!) just click on comments and ask away.

Much love to my peoples,

P.S. It would be great if you could pray about that flying thing again. I really do hate to fly. And the big peoples are saying all sorts of scary things about the possibility of scary things at London Heathrow, which I have to fly through. And did I mention I hate flying? Prayer is good.
And I do love you guys. :)

Michaela @9:29 AM :: Comment

Friday, September 05, 2003

My Friend Trey Sez.....

"Not to make fun of 4 year olds........but I was coloring with my 4 year old cousin last night... and she like.. colors EVERY day... and I havent colored in forever... and Im STILL like.. a hundred times better at it than she is... I mean... seriously..

plus.. we were coloring pictures from a "Beauty and the Beast" coloring book.. and she colored the Beast purple.... and Im like.... have you even SEEN the damn movie!!

trey ( I mean.. seriously.... my shading was SO much better....)"

That made me laugh.

Michaela @7:36 PM :: Comment

Here's what I don't get....

Why do boring people with nothing to say keep web logs?

I'm just curious.

Nothing against boring people.

Michaela @12:55 AM :: Comment

Thursday, September 04, 2003

Hey look. My blog was all screwy. I fixed it.

Still looking into the comments thing though. Why do they always screw up my frickin blog?!

Michaela @10:57 PM :: Comment

Anyone else ever ponder the miracle that is....digestion?

Because I know I do.

Michaela @5:18 PM :: Comment

Your New Favorite Band

Hey. Let's chat.

First of all, I'm not talking about The Hives. My friend Katie has been raving about this band eastmountainsouth for at least a month now. Now, I love Katie and trust her musical tastes, but I just hadn't remembered to check them out yet.
So today I go to Borders in search of the new print edition of Relevant (they didn't have it) and then went to Barnes and Noble (the didn't have it either) and ended up getting Paste Magazine, which is a most amazing publication, I'd been meaning to pick up anyway. So I pop the Sampler CD in the Jeep while driving around, and I listen all the way through without looking to see who the artists are, to find out what my favorite songs are, independent of what other people have said (I do this, with samplers). So this song called "Hard Times" comes on, and I fall in love with it. I pop it out, and SURE ENOUGH its eastmountainsouth. (I later found out I've actually heard another song of theirs, "You Dance" somewhere...and did't now it was them...) I know, Katie. I should listen to you more often. I'll definitely be getting this CD next week, as my "travel cd". I have a tradition of getting a new CD (or two) for long flights. (My Australia trip will forever be remembered by the soundtrack of Jackopierce and Dave Matthews/Tim Reynolds...). Eastmountainsouth will be THE ONE this time.

Until you all go buy the record (because you will....I know you will....on a side note, are they even called "records" anymore? Am I old?), you can check some of em out at eastmoutainsouth.com. "You Dance" is slightly poppy (although I still like it), but hold out for "Hard Times" and "Winter".

Katie also sent me some amazing lyrics of theirs....I haven't heard this song yet...but the lyrics hit me pretty hard...

on your way

I hope he never hurts you like I know I hurt you
but I was undecided and it was all that I could do
but if he says he loves you like I know I loved you
then there's a way to trust him, and I’ll get over you

so let his heart surround you, and let his arms protect you
and hold you every morning the way that I could never do
another life has blessed you, he wants the same as you do
so I must find the courage to send you on your way

all the nights reflecting in our chance connecting
help me find the meaning in the life I had with you
I wish I'd heard when you said that your heart could not wait
but it was my decision to send you on your way....

I hope he loves you like I loved you, I hope he knows you like I do
'cause if he loves you like I love you, then I can send you on your way...


How amazing is that?


In other news, I think I nearly had a nervous breakdown at a stoplight today. Not really. But I could have. I was very....I dunno. Anxious? About NOTHING. Isn't that another "syndrome" or something? Of course, there is that command: "Be anxious about NOTHING." I don't think that's what God meant though. I sat at the stoplight listening to Dishwalla and thought how I don't want to know I'm dying when I'm dying.

Only 5 more days til I leave again. This makes me sad, I'm not gonna lie. I've realized the big difference this time, in leaving (as opposed to the last two times, going to the ship, and going to Scotland) is that I'm getting along with my mom better than before, I feel like I'm a lot closer to her this time. That, and I appreciate the States a lot more. I love Scotland, but its not home, ya know? I don't think it ever could be. There are a lot of things I'm looking forward to, in going back. I'm looking forward to a new place, a new flat, with (hopefully) new friends. I'm looking forward to old friends, and getting back into the classes I loved so much at ICC, getting back to working with my kids. But none of those things can replace coming back to a house where a picture of you as a 3-year-old hangs on the wall, and homemade cookies wait for you on the stove...It can't replace hearing from your brother how football practice was, or being able to cook dinner for more than just you, or your mom still blowing tickles into your neck, despite the fact you're bigger than her, and now in your early 20's... It can't replace the smell of Caress soap that always reminds you of your grandma's house, or the strong detergent smell of the blankets on your bed because she always puts too much detergent in the wash.

I'm really glad that I've gotten an extra month here. But it kinda feels like pulling off a Band-Aid too slowly, instead of ripping it off quickly.

Michaela @6:30 AM :: Comment


I have my friend Alisa to thank for this. She, in turn got it from Tara Leigh Cobble's site . I think its absolute, unadulterated genius. Its the word we've all been looking for.

Friendationship: (n) frin-DAY-shun-ship
A male-female relationship, which has exceeded the normal level of friendship, but has not yet acquired official “relationship” status; a phenomenon that is prominent in the Post-Joshua-Harris era; often occurs pre-DTR; i.e. “Greg doesn’t want to date Sally, because he’s not sure if she’s The One, but it’s obvious to everyone that they are in a friendationship.” Synonym: “Just Friends”; Antonym: “Friends With Benefits”.

I invented this word a few years ago, because I sensed a great need for it. My friends and I have used it frequently in everyday conversation, and they have recently encouraged me to release it to the world. It hasn’t been entered into the dictionary yet, but I figure that if enough of us start using it, those days can’t be too far off. As a matter of fact, “bling-bling” was just added to the Oxford English Dictionary. I’m not even kidding. I heard that they credited some rapper with it. So, let’s just all operate on the safe side here and make sure you credit me when you use the word “friendationship”. Then I’ll be rich enough to have some bling-bling of my own someday.

Friendationships are a confusing thing. First of all, I haven’t come up with an official word for what it’s called when you “hang out” with the person you’re in a friendationship with (is it a “frate”, an abbreviation of “friend-date”?). Furthermore, what do you call that person? Until now, I’ve just referred to the person as “your friendationship” (instead of “your girlfriend”, “your boyfriend”, or “the person you are always with but won’t admit that you like”), but I’m not sure if I like that either. If you think of anything better, let me know.

I’m not going to go into any details about my personal experiences with friendationships; but I will tell you that I think they are the best new trend in dating (or non-dating, whichever you prefer). And as a matter of fact, the best “relationships” that I’ve had have been friendationships. I fully endorse them. They’re also fun to witness…

Two friends of mine, whom I will call “Adam” and “Eve”, have just recently admitted to each other that their friendship is, in fact, a friendationship. I’ve been telling Eve this for six months. Everyone else knew it, too... Adam just finally admitted it to himself. I feel so relieved. So… maybe they will get married someday. Or maybe it will all end weirdly, and none of our friends will feel comfortable hanging out with each other anymore. But that’s the beauty of the friendationship… total uncertainty, total lack of commitment.

To find out if you are currently in a friendationship, take this simple quiz:

1. Have you ever read “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris? (yes)(no)
2. After reading the book, did you burn it? (yes)(no)

*disclaimer: Joshua Harris is actually a friend of mine, and I have personally read everything he has ever written, including his private journals, which he keeps in his hall closet. Josh, I mean you no harm, and I think you and Shannon are amazing. Have a nice day, and please don’t hate me… this is all in good fun. (P.S. Can you make the word “friendationship” hugely popular?)

Michaela @1:41 AM :: Comment

Monday, September 01, 2003

You know what? I don't ask for much.



And this.

And very possibly this.

Probably this one, too.

But most DEFINITELY.....this.

I don't ask for much.


Michaela @8:17 AM :: Comment

"In the city you will find that the poor and the broken are often much, much more open to the idea of Gospel grace and much more dedicated to its practical outworkings than you are." (Tim Keller)

"Always On Your Side" by Sheryl Crow